The Sound of Settling

My brain's repeating, "if you've got an impulse let it out."

I've switched things up a bit in writing this post. My typical process: I sit in my basement room in the dark during the afternoon after a lift or a morning of reading and plunk out as much of a portrait of the last week as I can, straight through in one sitting. In some weeks, most notably last week, that process has been broken up into several sessions but the setting and method remain the same throughout. Right now as I write this it's Tuesday evening and I'm sitting outside after a beautiful day with my music on shuffle. Hopefully inspiration will strike as readily here as it does in my bed, although I don't think anything I've done this week can quite live up to my adventures detailed in my last lengthy post. It's going to be hard to live up to Amsterdam, but I think I can eventually; a new trip may be in the works. Details forthcoming.

 Our backyard

View from the hotseat, with all of the essentials: computer, Kindle, and, of course, a tall Paulaner Dunkel Hefe-Weißbier 

Although it seemed like a slow week after so much activity and travel, I did do more than sit in the basement and twiddle my thumbs. You'll notice that may become a theme in this post: I spend quite a bit of time down there, isolated, so I'm trying to break the pattern. Although useful in doses, isolation can prove dangerous to me, especially considering some of the circumstances of my time here. I'm making it a goal to spend more time outside of my room while I'm home, and although this sounds ridiculous, if you'd speak to Mitch and Steve, they'll probably agree: I need to get out a bit. That's not to say I don't try when I get the chance, it only means that when we have downtime I go downstairs and don't come up. I think I'm going to try to sit outside more as the weather improves. Today was an amazing day, weather wise, and it doesn't get dark here until well past 10 PM, if not later. It's a bit off-putting, really. Sometimes I'll look at my watch and realize it's already nearly what should be considered "night" while it looks to be only the middle of the evening. Like now, for instance. It's 9:35 PM and with the light we have if we were in Ohio I would think it couldn't be any later than 8. That certainly makes it easier to practice til 10 on Wednesdays and Fridays, which we've done several times.

When I got back from Amsterdam I was worried that I might be derailed from my goal of reading a book a week, having barely squeaked out Updike's Rabbit, Run in a little over a week (I finished Stoner ahead of schedule, giving me a buffer), but still before my Tuesday deadline, having finished it on the train home. This past week assuaged my concern. I managed to finish Rabbit Redux by Monday (it was okay, I'm assuming it's the weak point in the saga; even Updike hit a sophomore slump) and started Palahniuk's Choke and finished that within a day. Looks like my speed-reading compulsion didn't suffer as much as I thought it did in college. Reading these two books in sequence is not something I would recommend to anyone. The jury's still out in regard to my thoughts on Choke as a whole, but what I can tell you is that both of these novels present a similarly fierce sexuality, within which a wishy-washy faux masculinity reigns supreme and unquestioned.  Both of these authors used this for the development of their characters, to be certain, but the fact remains: these are men dying in the throes of a post-masculine world. This is a complicated topic that I tend to avoid and can handle in small amounts, but not quite back to back in such highly concentrated doses. Hopefully I can avoid that type of overload in the future with my reading. With more Faulkner and Updike on the docket, however, there will be plenty of emasculation and complicated topics to delve deep into. I've also gotten a good amount of writing done on the project I'm working on while I'm here. Unfortunately, what feels like a good amount and what a good amount is in reality isn't quite the same. Work, work, work.

If you've been gritting your teeth through reading about my more intellectual exploits, don't worry. It's over. I'll talk about football now. We had our first Saturday game, which is a bit of a quick turnaround after a full practice Friday night. That's just the way it is, however, so adjustments must be made. We played the Bielefeld Bulldogs at their homefield, which was quite a challenge. Bielefeld hasn't lost a game in two years and is currently the top team in the league. They have a rabid fanbase, which kept the noise level high throughout the entirety of the event, from before kickoff to the postgame celebration.

I say postgame celebration because, unfortunately, we emerged from a tightly contested game on the wrong side of the scoreboard, 28-35. One last minute drive by the Bulldogs provided the difference after a see-saw matchup, scoring back and forth. We never had the lead, but we never felt like we were losing. I personally didn't start out feeling fantastic: I began the game with an unexplainable lethargy and heavy legs. When I ran I felt stiff and unsure. This is something I need to fix, that I will dedicate the week to solving before the next game. I suspect it could be that I missed my leg workout for the week, but I can't be sure. By halftime I felt good, and while my rushing stats were pedestrian at best (11 rushes for 44 yards, 1 1 yard TD) my receiving stats were a bit better (10 catches for 103 yards). Hopefully we can get the running game going next week. It's difficult because as an American, teams often key on me while I'm in the backfield, even though we have a few other good backs. We also had a key injury on the offensive line and lost our right tackle, so we had to adjust to that. Another week should do the trick. 

Strahinja and I. I'd like to title this picture Playmakers, if we can live up to it. Let's make some more plays; please just stop trying to jump over everyone.

The best part of the game for me was how we responded to its events. I hesitate to call the difficult events of a game "adversity," although the football lexicon deems it so. We were down by two touchdowns at one point with a stalled offense, but that didn't hold us down. Everyone responded. It was nice to see the four touchdowns we scored spread across four different players, with others contributing big plays. People filled different roles they may not have been used to: I personally played on every special team aside from field goal and kickoff, including returning punts for the first time since J.V., and even played two plays on defense after one of our DBs had to go out. I can't say I did too well there, but I'd love another shot to be on the dark side, as Steve called it. I miss making tackles, playing fluidly and reactionary, separated from the responsibility of carrying out the steps of a play. Don't get me wrong though, like my high school coaches did: offense is where I belong. 

Sequence celebrating Oli's TD in the first quarter. Pretty cool.

Losing was rough, but, like I said, it was a great game. I look forward to going back to the homefield this weekend to play against another good team, the Troisdorf Jets. If you're trying to follow the game live, Twitter seems to be the best way (@OSTigers). Even ol' Pa made himself an account to follow the Tigers. I guess I'm the only one left without one.

So, like I said: although it was a slow week, it wasn't entirely uneventful. I appreciate all the support I get from home, particularly from the Kenyon Athletic Department (Speaking of which, congratulations Jesse Weiss! All of those hours in the KAC lifting next to each other have paid off, for you a bit more than me, but I can't imagine anyone more deserving. Get ready to be paid for the game you love. There isn't a more surreal, unbelievable feeling. Go Brewers!). Having my blog available to a larger audience is fantastic. I've had hits from as far away as South Korea and, importantly, Costa Rica. I hope that everyone has enjoyed reading this, and will follow through the summer. This has been cathartic for me. I miss home, and I really do want to share my experience with everyone I can. Here, I can do it, and get it all out in a rush of words and pictures.

Trying a new process has worked. Even though the sun has set, it's still great outside and I feel like I've accomplished something away from my cave, or, as the doorbell buzzer label says for the basement's button, TigerCage. I plan to escape from it more often.

Peace.